NYC

We are officially in NYC and acclimating to our new surroundings. It has been easier adjusting to life here than I initially anticipated in many ways (thank God!!). We are presently in a sublet for the month of August on the upper west side of manhattan a lovely few blocks away from central park!! The goal for this month has been to find a permanent apartment.... what an adventure!! I think it has been a bit more involved than either D or I thought.....

The process goes something like this:

1. you either have an insane amount of time on your hands and do all the hunting yourself (via websites that may or may not be legit) or you hire a 'broker'/realtor who makes a tonnnnn of money when they find you a place. Now we did realize that often times the brokers do get the better properties, but they often come with a higher price tag (or when factoring in fees have a higher price tag)....

2. You get what you pay for. Less expensive places are cheaper for a reason.... They are often near housing projects or totally run down or the size of a closet. So, unless you are a millionaire, you need to weigh your priorities and realize that you probably won't get most of what you are looking for.

3. Properties often stay on the market for about 3 days before they are snatched up. You don't have time to ponder if you want it or not... you either take it or continue to play the game and hold out for the potential of something better.

there are more rules to this apartment game... but it's more than you would really care to know... Bottom line: it's a hassle, but actually rather entertaining if you remove yourself from it enough to realize how crazy and chaotic the whole thing is!!

God is faithful as always though and has answered our prayers for housing. It has been fun because my typical response to things like this is to stress and not trust that God will come through. Throughout the journey, I have been able to pray and watch God do his thing. He has always come through in his own way and I knew he would do so again. We found a super place early last week and, atypically, the landlord wanted to wait for other potential tenants to look at the property over a period of several kinda rather long days before he offered it to us.  The Lord has provided us with a surprisingly spacious apartment within our price range in a fantastic part of town near parks, subway lines and school for daniel :) Blessed beyond measure.

[ the corner half a block from our new place]

updates

a little bit has happened since I last posted so I figured I would catch you up on the recent goings on:

1. I'm married!!!  [in case you totally missed that] God is so faithful. If you want to learn more about the Lord, his goodness, grace and incredible love, marriage is a great way to do it. Hello sanctification. I have been more humbled and have realized the depth my selfishness more in the past month than ever before. In it, daniel has been amazing and ever so gracious. It is worth the wait to find a godly man. He points me to Jesus daily and his passion for the Lord inspires my own journey. Having 'Jesus dates' has become a nearly weekly highlight. We go off together for hours spending time in prayer and the word, processing what God is teaching us and keeping each other grounded in an ever so vital eternal focus. One word for this. Incredible.

(photo by revival photography)

2. Rumor has it we are moving to NYC in less than a week. I cannot believe it is pretty much august. Where time goes, I have no idea! Daniel got into columbia for grad school (oh my goodness this kid is smarty!!) I never in a million years would have expected to end up in NYC for a season, but God's ways and plans are so beyond mine. The thought for now is that we will spend several years there and then.... well..... God knows :)

(from our first road trip- NYC spring 2012)

3. Can I tell you a little story about the goodness of God?? (i'm trying not to make this blog a million pages... but there is so much to tell!!)  Ok, so we knew around march that daniel got into Columbia and that left me with the question as to what in the world I would be doing. God has been stretching me immensely in the area of work and trusting him the past few years. I selfishly whine about being jerked around and scrambling at the last minute for jobs while daniel's stuff seems to just fall into place. [God knows I need an attitude change in this regard so he keeps placing me in lurch positions. when will I learn?!?!] Anyway, starting late may/early june I began masssssss sending out my resume to pretty much any and all jobs I could find. Two weeks before the wedding my mom causally asked why I wasn't talking about job stuff and I was like 'because it massive stresses me out to think about it' to which she answered 'i'll pray.' Well the next day I got an email from a hospital in the bronx asking me to come interview. I knew I was pretty incredibly booked the next month or so but God opened a free day the week before the wedding for me to fly up with D and scope it out. The interview was horrible. Not kidding. Like bad news bears from the get-go and I foolishly wept that night, asking God why he would open up the door that quickly only to feed me to the wolves. How foolish it was. God knows better than I. Despite the bad interview, he even more miraculously had the hospital offer me a position 2 days before the wedding. I have a job!!!! How silly to doubt the ways of the Lord. His timing is impeccable, not ours but perfect. It's in the ghetto in the bronx which actually excites me more than anything. What a super opportunity for ministry to those people!!


I could ramble about a ton of other things.... lifestyle changes. heart changes. other God things..... but I will save them for new days. the goal is to get a bit more regular with the whole blog thing once again. The prayer and hope is that it is an outlet to challenge, bless and perhaps occasionally amuse you.

romance

8 weeks until I get to walk down the aisle and marry the man God has blessed me with. So soon. So incredibly far away. It's a bit of a challenge but I am learning so much through the process. There are so many times that the girly part of me emerges and I wish daniel was here... It's the small simple things: holding hands, going to church together, prayer times, walking/running together. I have been learning to turn first to the Lord and keep them both in their rightful place. In the absence of my man, I have been having many more intentional dates with Jesus. It sounds silly, but being a bit of a romantic at times, I find that being intentional about 'dating God' does my heart so much good. These are often complete with coffee, candles and flowers :)  Why not?

As I prepare for marriage, I am learning to a whole new degree what it means to be loved by God. He is the ultimate bridegroom. He longs for us. He pursues us. He wants to court us and get to know us on a deep, intimate level. He is gracious and compassionate. He is tender and loving. He is the best and only one who can fulfill our deepest longings. When I find completion in Christ, I can love my hubby better... and really just live better in general.

In the flurry of wedding details, among the myriad of other life things that have emerged (reminder #1000 to never pray for God to stretch you unless you mean it!!), I am reminded that I need to have a heart like Mary. Instead of rushing and fussing, I need to sit.  just sit. at the feet of Christ and allow him to refresh my weary heart. When I plug into him everything is seen more clearly for what it is and I am able to refocus on what really matters. Hearts matter. Eternity matters. Colors of napkins at a wedding don't matter. :)

At church last week the pastor made a profound statement:

"the desire that holds your heart rules your life"

May that desire be Christ and the advancing of His kingdom.  The rest does not matter. May I go where he sends and not hold onto things or people too tightly. These first world stresses are just that... they are temporary and are distractions from what is truly important. Jesus, take your rightful place-- now and always.

anticipation

I am good at being busy, really busy. I rarely hold still and this weekend I realized why. When I am still I realize that I'm alone. The ache for my other half becomes very palpable. This being apart from a fiancé for months at a time thing is horrible.... In my sadness, I was reminded that I have a lover who is always with me. His name is Jesus. So cliche but really so true. Something we take for granted and at the same time avoid. Who needs God when we have smartphones and facebook and to-do lists? As we look toward this easter week, it should be one filled with anticipation. Filled with desire and longing for Christ. He came, died a horrid, brutal death in our place out of crazy love for us. How often we fill his place with people and things. They can all be good, but need to remain in their rightful place behind the one who is best.

In a random moment, I decided to make a paper countdown chain for the wedding... Yes, I have the crafting tendencies of a 5yr old.... As I was gluing loops together, I was reminded that as much as I want to be with Daniel, I need to want to be with Christ more. I should be counting down the time when I get to date Him again. I should be eagerly longing for an anticipating my Jesus time. Man, I have ever so much to learn.....

"my soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord, my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God." - Psalm 84:2

learning curve

I took spanish through part of college. I took medical language in PA school. I learned a little luganda in Uganda. No where in my training did I learn military language, nor did I think I would ever need to! My friend's husband enlisted a little over a year ago and my head spins every time I try to figure out what his rank is or where he is training next...

This week I begin my [short] stint at a clinic on a local military base. I didn't study up much before going, but I figured after watching military/government/etc shows on television I knew enough to get by. It took all of less than a minute to learn how much I didn't know. Every once in a great while during my orientation I would catch myself smiling... not because of anything awesome, but because I deciphered what an acronym they used meant! Ha. From there I was introduced to everyone... don't even try to quiz me on the whole rank business. Super important, I'm super lost! Then to top it off, I tried to figure out the appropriate use of "Sir." They use it a llllllll the time. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the formality of the south and it's use of Sir and Madam (something that is not used enough or properly in the north).... but this is a wholeeeee new level. I am pretty sure that I tacked it on some convos at the end...a few beats after I should have because I felt it was probably necessary but not natural. Awkward! Now that I have made an utter fool of myself, I have days worth of paperwork to fill out so I can be cleared to really work.. provided that they take me now that they know i'm a blonde, bumbling civilian. :)  

So friends, if you are active or retired military -- props to you! (not only for serving, but for getting in!!)

shock

culture shock is such a funny thing. i've been back for a week now and for the most part the adjustment has been pretty smooth... (through tons of prayer!!)  there are several silly things/behaviors/issues i have noticed though since coming back. i guess it falls under culture shock, really i think it's just this sinus crud messing with my brains!

1. driving: which side of the road are we really supposed to be on? I never drove in africa, but rode on the 'wrong' side of the street long enough that when faced with a country or back road I legit have to ponder it for a second or two or three.... and maybe i found myself on the wrong side for a brief moment once or twice...

2. safety: it's a broad category encompassing --- can I really drink water out of the faucet? it feels so foreign.... as well as --- i find i am paranoid about my stuff being taken here in pretty safe suburbia. I triple check that car doors are locked. I hug my purse tightly in crowds sure that someone is going to come pull at it. silly... ha

3. food: in africa there were times that i would get intense cravings for all kinds of yummy american foods that one could not obtain in there.... i blame it on my lack of smell at the moment, but now that i'm here all of those foods have completely lost their appeal. i have walked into a grocery store and literally walked out empty handed because i didn't know what i wanted.


all of this will wane in time and much of it already has. what i pray doesn't diminish are the lessons I have learned and the ways I have grown in my relationship with the Lord.... here is to the fight against that status quo!

shuffle

Back in the US. Back in the cold.... at least physically!! I arrived back in Wisconsin late Sunday night, spent two days there, flew for a day to NC and am now working on day 2 here. Needless to say my body is a little messed up!! haha. Add to it some great respiratory crud and I'm thoroughly out of whack!

It's amazing to me how quickly I can jump back into the American chaos. (I think i'm probably pretty tired if I let myself slow down enough to realize everything that has gone on this past week)!! But, instead of taking necessary time to rest, I have filled my days with the millions of things on my to-do lists... In life I typically run at 100mph and it's my default setting here. This morning on a rather pitiful run (breathing is a little tricky at the moment) I had some convicting time with the Lord. I was initially supposed to begin work yesterday, or today, but military paperwork and clearance stuff has pushed back my start date. God has given me time. INTENTIONAL time. Time to rest; to spend with him. Today it was almost as though he asked, "did you learn anything this past month??" haha. Gotta love a loving slap in the face!

I need him just as much here in the states as I did while I was abroad. Explicit ministry/missions in some ways is easier... It can be more emotionally taxing, but you are ever aware of your incredible need for the Lord. We may be 'blessed' here in America, but mainly in a monetary sense (and even that can be a curse!). There is truth behind the beatitudes -- blessed are the poor, meek, etc.... We are too easily lulled into stuff, business, etc and become incredibly spiritually complacent. The mission field here is just as difficult, only in a different manner. I am just as guilty of falling into this as anyone else. May this not be the norm of my life though!! God called me back here for a reason, probably actually for many reasons! My mission is here for the time being and I, by the strength of God, am going to press into him with as much intensity as I did in Africa.  Let the new adventure begin!