reflections

Today was my last day at FMC.... perhaps forever this time. It's bittersweet, but maybe not as traumatic and it should be. Change is such a funny thing. It's sometimes so welcome and other times so resisted. On the drive back from visiting a friend tonight, I was reflecting on the journey the Lord has taken me on. In less than 3 weeks I will be back on the red dirt and I am so elated. I didn't think God would allow me to go back this soon, but it is right around the corner!!

Some ask me why I am so drawn to overseas missions. They ask with wonder and awe, in a tone that suggests I am making a heroic or incredibly sacrificial gesture. I don't see it that way. I go because I am called. I go because I am driven by a passion that is beyond my understanding. Don't get me wrong, it isn't always easy and it isn't always fun. In all of it God is good. He provides all I need and has placed this desire in my heart. It blows me away because there are so many things that make me an unlikely candidate for this sort of call: I hate being dirty. I hate being wet against my will. I hate being cold. I like electricity. I love toilets that flush and showers that pour out warm water. I hate bugs. I hate spiders and am pretty sure that I would have a coronary event if I ever came in contact with a live venomous snake. I was the child who cried at sleepovers well beyond the age that a child should react like this because I was so terribly homesick. I am a planner. I am an organizer..... the list goes on. None of these = loving international missions in poverty stricken third world countries. ha. Isn't that how God works though? He takes the broken. The inept. The wusses. He uses us in our weakness so that he can be glorified.

With this in mind, I am so surprised by the nomadic, chaotic journey God has taken me on. I see the hand of God heavy in all of it though. He doesn't make mistakes!!   I am clinging to this as I wait on him for direction concerning my next steps. He has opened new doors (too many!!) and closed others in regards to my Ugandan adventure.  I am at a loss and have no clue what he will do. It's a little (lot) unsettling mentally at times. Where will I live? Where will the funds come from? What will I be doing? etc... My mind often races with these questions. I have 3 weeks God. Despite the wondering, I am filled with a strong peace that is an undercurrent to all of this. I may freak out, but I know beyond a doubt that God is going to put it all together and come through for me. soon. I can't wait to see him do his thing!!!