musings

work is stressful. understatement. way more overwhelming than i ever expected and i feel sooooo out of my element. i don't feel smart enough or fast enough or really anything enough. sometimes that is EXACTLY where God wants us to be though. in fact, life can be sweetest in those moments of complete incompetence. when we are empty and realize that we are empty God can fill us to overflowing and do his best work. [the trick is for us to recognize this and give him room to fill us]

Lately my understanding of joy is changing. My understanding of suffering and sacrifice is changing. Gosh, may I never revert back to my old ways. Joy has nothing to do with happiness. I feel most of us at least can mentally agree with this.... It's deeper, more steadfast and so much less circumstantial. Joy is most complete when God is doing his God thing and we get to be on the front lines to watch and/or participate. It's not because we are getting what we want or are personally being awesome, but because we see God's majesty and glory shine. So. freaking. awesome. We so often don't realize the gift this is, or actually even seek to find God in this way. We are comfortable. We take God in comfortable doses- not enough to change us, but enough to keep us feeling 'safe'. We go to church, we do the 'right' things more or less, we pray sometimes. We feel safe with our 'fire insurance' from hell and we think that is enough.   Friends, there is SO MUCH MORE to God and life with him. Life just begins when we accept Jesus's gift of life though his sacrifice for our sins, it doesn't end there at all.  Now he may call us to things that are not what we have in mind for ourselves. He may ask us to give up things that we enjoy. He may demand more of our time.    our finances.   our energy.   our resources.  It may look like 'sacrifice' or 'suffering' in the eyes of the world. It may make others think that you are a little bit (or a lot) crazy. It may be a little scary or overwhelming at times. It may not work on paper.  It may be the most amazing thing you have ever done in your life and you might just see God in ways you never imagined. The best thing?!? It may not feel as much like sacrifice when you realize the steadfast joy of God is enough and that we are not here to feel comfortable, but rather to life for his glory.