reality

it's sinking in, and yet it is so surreal. in less than two months i will be walking the red dirt of uganda. i will be loving on the little cuties of watoto. i will be living in africa!!!!!!   all of my furniture is gone. i'm working on cutting down the rest of my stuff to the bare essentials and, in the process, learning so much about what truly holds value. it's actually quite liberating. in the vast scheme of eternity, none of my material possessions matter. they can be replaced. all i need is jesus. i have learned that my passion is people. my heart is for the nations.

it has been quite the heart journey the past few weeks though. i have experienced every emotion possible. i'm elated about africa, a little nervous, but at peace about it. i'm also processing all of the change and loss here. when i moved to NC 2yrs ago, god specifically instructed me that i needed to put down roots so deep that it would hurt when i left. it was my litmus test of sorts. if it hurt when i left someday, it meant that i had truly invested my heart and loved on the people here the way christ intended. well, it hurts. i guess i did it! i have been blessed with an incredible ministry at family medical center. i have seen god do miracles and literally change peoples' lives. it's so hard to leave them; they are 'my people'. i struggled for a long time with the concept of 'leaving them here' without knowing who is going to pick up their care. god made it very clear to me though that they are not really 'mine', they are his. i was simply an instrument that he used for this season. just as he cared for them before i came, he will continue to provide for them while i am gone. it's so great to know that we are in the hands of a capable, loving father god!

all that being said, i'm working on living in the moment and soaking up every second that i have with those i love here. i have 5 more weeks at FMC. i want to make the most of all that i have been given here. i am truly blessed. god, here i am. the crazy journey is taking shape!!! here we go!