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Thursday, February 14, 2013

change yet again

God has been messing with my world lately. In a good way....

I came back to Uganda in December thinking that I knew more or less exactly what I would be doing the next few months. I was quite excited (mistake number one) because I had a plan that was longer than 1-2 months! ... ha.... The tale to explain all that occurred end of dec/beginning of january is long and convoluted. Cliff note version- the job fell through and I was left with nothing. It was not I expected and I didn't always accept the change of plans as graciously as I should. In all of it though the hand of God was evident and although quiet, he was ever so present. I quickly began a month long job search-- looking both in Uganda and the US. Every day a new tale- here, there, up, down, job, no job... It was a bit of a heart roller coaster but it taught me a lot. I like to have control. I like to plan. I like to know what to expect. This is not possible when my heart and mind were/are on two very different continents. I also do not like sitting still and when you are jobless there is an awful lot of that which goes on. For a while I fought God..... and then realized how beautiful time like this is to spend getting to know my savior. He is so faithful and gracious. I have learned so much about living in the moment with hands wide open. Nothing is mine, it all belongs to him and he wastes nothing. What an amazing God we serve!!

Within the past week-ish God has opened up an opportunity for me in the states. It is not what I expected at all, but it seems to be exactly what he has in mind. To be honest, I was a bit devastated at first.... I'm in Africa, you would think that I could find a place where I could use my medical skills!?!?! God revealed ugly pieces of my heart though; gently scolding me that even missions and ministry can take an idolatrous place in ones heart. I need to live COMPLETELY open to him; allowing him to mess with any and all people/places/things in my life. That, at the moment, looks like going back to the US. I have discovered how blessed I am and am overwhelmed by the love and support people have given as I begin the transition back. I felt like a bit of a failure for a while, not completing the mission I thought I was supposed to do. Often times however it is more about obedience and process than outcome. My mission continues on Seymour Johnson Airforce Base in North Carolina for the next few months. The next week will be a whirlwind of transitions, but I serve an incredible, faithful, loving, trustworthy God who will take care of it all. Thy will be done!

ps. thanks for all the love and prayers. it's totally humbling and incredible!

Daniel and I did get some fantastic engagement pics recently though from Rosalie-- she is awesome on sooooooo many levels!!


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