ponderings

2 more weeks...... that is all the time i have left on this trip in africa. i am heartbroken, but comforted by the knowledge that this is not goodbye. i thought at one point that it was; that perhaps God would close this chapter of my heart and tell me to let go. thankfully, that does not seem to be the case. watoto is a great organization, but not a place that i feel i would fit in with in the long-run. perhaps this trip was a divine transition. a way to help me let go of things in the past. a way to learn to trust and hear God again. a way to restore divine perspective. a way to dream.

my heart still beats africa. i went to gulu this past week- a village in northern uganda that was most affected by the LRA and the war. the village where invisible children was taped. (a documentary i saw 6yrs ago at marquette and dreamed about for weeks afterward). a place where children were abducted and forced to be child soldiers. where women and young girls were brutally raped. where people were forced to kill their family members. hell on earth. after all of this though, God is restoring them. he is giving them hope again. they are learning to smile. to live. during my short time there, i met a woman from the village. she was probably days away from meeting her savior, laying on a small pallet in a tiny dirt home. she has seen it all, yet she was praising God and talking about the goodness of the Lord. amazing.

so i am praying. processing. crying. bleeding. i feel that perhaps God is conceiving in my a new vision for africa...... it's not what i expected. i could see it happening though which is probably the scarier/more awesome thing about it. it's not my vision, but i feel it may very well be the Lord's. so i pray. i listen. i wait. hopefully some day i can share :)

but since i can't at this point. i will give you some fun pictures instead (if they will be so kind as to let me load them) and some lyrics to an awesome song!!!

Unending Love- hillsong

Jesus nothing compares
To this grace that rescues me
Saviour now and forever
Your face is all I seek

Now all I am
I lay at Your feet
I'm humbled by the wonder of Your majesty
One thing I know
I find all I need
In Your unending love
In Your unending love

Letting go of my pride
I lay down my desires
Just to worship in Spirit and truth
More than all of my dreams
More than fame I will seek You Lord